That's Not What They Said!
After being killed by our brave U.S. troops terrorist leader
Abu Zarqawi woke up. In front of him stood George Washington
who proceed to beat him to a pulp.
Later Abu woke up again only to find Thomas Jefferson standing
in front of him, again with fists and haymakers beating him to
A few hours pasted and AGAIN abu woke up this time to see Robert
E. Lee standing in front of him with a baseball bat.
Abu Zarqawi yelled:" Wait! Where are the 70 virgins?"
At which Robert E Lee hit him with the bat and said: "You
idiot that was 70 Virginians!"
Give us your poor...
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your
poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball
bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
Ted Nugent Says
When asked if he felt that the deer he fed would get upset when
he put an arrow in them? Ted Responded:
"I don't think my deer think at that level. I think they
only think about three things: The best places to eat, having
sex and running away... much like the French!"
My only hope is when those terrorists get to heaven, they meet
up with the kind of virgins we had in Catholic school: Sister
Mike Ditka from Our Mother of Eternal Retribution."
We got them!
"In Pakistan anti-American protestors set a Kentucky Fried
Chicken restaurant on fire. The protestors mistaken-thought they
were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders."
What do you call a handcuffed man?
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors,
and half the time they don't work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where the heck those Tomahawks
are coming from!
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.
"It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even
know that I`m going to shoot him!"
That's it for this issue.