Iowa Trucker
As a Iowa trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on
the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi,
my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load".
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches
up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the
door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never
spoken, the blonde says brightly,"Hi my name is Heather,
and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head,
the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out
of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on
the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says,
"Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your
load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the
next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window,
and as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin,
it's winter in Iowa and I'm driving the SANDING TRUCK!"
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U get what U pay for
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua.
But on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker standing on
the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension
he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most
certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.
"No. Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd
run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!"
He'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany
her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic
street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her
$50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing
on all his past outings. He realized he should have a darn good
explanation for the junior Senator. As they jogged into the turn
that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive
than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Bill tried to
avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you
get for five bucks?" |
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
Father Time can be tough on the body
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it ok for us guys
to notice all the different kinds of boobs?" Surprised,
the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal
if we didn't....there are all kinds of breasts...depending on
a woman's age- In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears,
still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions, Dad?" "Yeah, you see them and they make
you cry...."
Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how
many kinds of penises are there?" The mother, delighted
to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes
through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is
like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it
is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it
is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?"
"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."
That's it til next issue!
Next issue is the April/May... time to start thinking about hunt
tests!
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