sleep ions become noticeable. The ions apparently dissipate, and this effect decreases with time.
D. The effectiveness of sleep ions varies directly with the proximity to the Lab sleep-ion generator. Just as with any diffusion mechanism, the closer the observer is to the source, the greater the concentration of the material being diffused.
E. The density of sleep ions appears to be slightly lighter than air. They slowly rise from their source, are displaced by moving air and are more effective in their down-wind than up-wind direction. Strong air movements will quickly displace them - as will running children, sweeping and the like.
F. Time of day has no effect on the quantity of sleep ions generated or their effectiveness. If the Lab and its owner are in the same sleep-wake cycle, daytime-generated sleep ions are just as effective as those produced during the night.
What do sleep ions look like? As it turns out we have a clue from my wife who saw some in a dream one morning. Before I woke her up she was busily trying to collect the small pearly spheres into a pile and trap them in a folded sheet. "They are so pretty," she remarked as she wafted some off the bedspread onto the sheet. She has having trouble trying to collect the minute iridescent particles, as they were prone to drift away with the slightest movement - like trying to gather dust motes illuminated by a sunbeam in a darkened room.
Is any of this true? I can't say that we can prove the existence of sleep ions by any scientific measure, but sleep ions could explain a commonly observed event that has heretofore escaped analysis. Sleep experts decry such observations as anecdotal, coincidental, wishful thinking and junk science.
The truth is that sleeping dogs help their owners relax. How? Is this by imitation - just as when one person in a room yawns, everyone else does too. Or is there something physiochemical going on between Labs and man that we don't understand. Dogs are pack animals and communicate by a variety of postures, movements and vocalizations. Should we be surprised that Labs with noses that are at least 100 times more effective than ours, might give off chemical signals to induce sleep? Since we are also mammals, is it an entirely outrageous suggestion that such chemical emanations might also work on us? We frankly don't know.
How to find out? One experiment would be to take an active youngster and put him/her in the vicinity of a sleeping Lab and observe how long it takes the youngster to lie down and sleep. Repeat this experiment several times and see if it gives predictable results. Change dogs, youngsters and times of day; and repeat the measurements. At no time inform the youngster of the desired result.
Even this approach is experimentally faulty without a control population, but it would be an interesting thing to try. Maybe there is a behavioral psychologist who needs a thesis topic who will someday examine this apparent interrelationship between sleeping dogs and their owners.
In the meantime, if you have an old Lab as your in-home companion, sleep well and live long.
Wm. Hovey Smith is a professional geologist and outdoor writer. His wife Thresa (correct sp.) is a microbiologist. They live in rural Georgia with their Labs Persephone and Demeter.
Wm. Hovey Smith hails from Sandersville, GA

Gotta have safety labels
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)